It began when you were 10. You were over Lisa’s house for her birthday, and she received a doll as a gift from her grandparents. Lisa was not known for her graciousness. “Euw! This doll is so creepy!” she complained, pushing it away from herself.

“Let me see,” you said, and Lisa gave you the creepy doll, which in your opinion wasn’t creepy at all. ( Read more... )

The image at the end of the ficlet was something I commissioned from my son (Sollid Nitrogen) last year because his goddamn stupid school lost the art he’d done on the same subject for an exhibition the entire middle school contributed to.

Mom stirred slightly, moaning. “Come on,” Norris said, shaking her. “Come on, Mom, get up! There’s deaders on ( Read more... )

My name’s Mike London, and I hunt vampires, and that’s why I don’t love the darkness anymore.
Yeah, I know, I know. At this point you’re probably thinking “do we really have time to unpack all that?”, but the thing you’re getting hung up on is vampires, because vampires aren’t real. How could creatures who are technically dead survive only on blood ( Read more... )

This is set in the same universe as #5: Build, but features a completely different species and set of characters.
Rrahe’nek stared at the tiny, coatless creature looking up at him, its teeth bared but its digits bereft of weapons. Instead, there was a rich-smelling ceramic dish in its hands, hot, steaming and wrapped in a cloth. It spoke ( Read more... )

Five friends drove up the mountain into the forest, where the vacation cabin waited for them. It was their senior year of college, so it wouldn’t be long before they’d be graduating and going their separate ways, and who knew when they’d all be able to hang out together again? So they’d decided that this year, instead of going on spring break ( Read more... )

Based on “Dr. Ultraviolet Meets Her Nemesis“, a supervillain comedy I am working on about a supervillain who has to take shelter with her extremely mundane sister.

“What exactly is this… stuff?” Ultraviolet asked her sister, with a sneer that she hoped was making it clear she could be using stronger language.

“You asked for books,” Scarlett said, “ ( Read more... )

Here we are with “No Drama” again. The actual book is in first person, but I went with third and a different POV than John’s because I wanted to explore what he looks like from a human’s perspective.

Lailah arrived at the bar as quickly as she could, panting slightly. “John! What’s the emergency?”

“There’s no emergency,” her partner, John Deer, ( Read more... )

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Darla called, limping across the living room to the front door. Goodness, who was ringing the front doorbell? She knew everyone in town, and they knew to knock at the kitchen door, even the Amazon package delivery people and the driver for the new Indian restaurant over in town. She’d barely been in the living room for a ( Read more... )

This ficlet is based on "April's Dream House", an idea of mine that was originally envisioned as a foul-mouthed adult animated comedy that is kind of like a cross between Robot Chicken, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Tuca and Bertie. The premise is that a bunch of little girls’ toys are living together in a name-changed-for-copyright-reasons Barbie ( Read more... )

I probably should have refused the job as soon as she told me I was going to have to change my name, but it was Cat Schrödinger, man.  What hench in her right mind wouldn’t give her left tit to work for her?

“I can’t have you calling yourself Diamond Bitch,” she said. “Can you go by Diamond, instead?”

“It’s a play on words,” I argued. “You know. ( Read more... )